A trucker is outside of a diner, working on his truck. It's freezing outside so he goes in to warm himself up before going back out to finish the job. A sexy waitress gets his attention and asks,
"Would you like to warm those hands up between my thighs?"
Hesitant, he shook his head yes and smiled.
"Thank you, m'am. I think they're good and warm now."
He went back out and not a few minutes later, his hands were cold again so he went back inside.
"Can I warm my hands up between your thighs again?"
"Come on!" She said, annoyed, "Does your nose ever get cold??".
A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around.
As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?"
She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy Bitch."